Forget it, pack it up, we're going home
While CES can bring us some pretty cool innovations and new technologies, it can also introduce plenty of truly “WTF” moments. Oh, and on that note, WTF. OhMiBod is apparently a regular manufacturer at CES, and this year they truly went all out with their latest and greatest: a Bluetooth “massager” that syncs with that Apple Watch you aren’t even wearing yet for in order to keep track and control your, uh, you know, pleasure levels. Or something.
Apparently, your Apple Watch will control the way that “massager” vibrates, used to – and this is a quote from Suki Dunham, founder of OhMiBod, and apparently a very strange woman, “create the vibrations that drive his or her partner’s pleasure, […] (and) also determines the strength and intensity of those vibrations.”
But wait, there’s more! You’ll also be able to use your voice to record “vibration patterns” that you can push to your “massager” to really personalize your intimate time in ways that nobody could haver ever, ever, ever dreamt before, unless you want did in which case hey, more power to you.
OhMiBod promises that new features will be coming to their “massagers” as early as March 2015, all based on the company’s existing “Cuddle and Share” product. And with that, I am officially done.